Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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