Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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