my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
