we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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