i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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