Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
