if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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