Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
