you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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