I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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