she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
