I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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