i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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