Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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