If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
