So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
