I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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