i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
