I think my vagina is haunted
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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