never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
