Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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