Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize