I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
