She is in my trunk
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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