were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
