He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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