The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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