And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
True strength comes from lack of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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