i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
