we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize