Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You took a bar mat shot.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
