I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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