I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
