Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
