that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Your cock deserves a montage
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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