Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want to make out with him forever
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I need to calm my uterus...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
