You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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