Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
