Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have feelings that need drinking.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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