they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
