Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just threw up on my dentist
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
