East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
