dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
