Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
