i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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