even my farts smell like vagina
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
