I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
