I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
