All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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