And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
