So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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