Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Its about making memories worth repressing
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
