i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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