I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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