after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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