Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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