Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you win again, gameday.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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